New Michel Gondry, why was I not informed??
I so rarely argue with anyone, it really stays with me when I do. I keep thinking of this little spat that shouldn’t matter much because it involves someone I only knew once in a certain time and space and do not have to interact with at all today, but because I have respect for the relationship we once had (I use that designation loosely), I don’t like the idea of being so flippant, or so dismissive of their perspective.
it’s one of those things. two people speak to one another and each hears something wholly different than what was actually said, and reacts from their misinterpretation. I’ve seen it play out from the sidelines enough times to know that each person genuinely heard what they think was said. it’s a comedy of errors, really, watching a thing escalate as one misunderstanding begets another, and another, until there comes a point when neither is willing or able to hear the other person at all. it’s as if no word between them has a common meaning. have you seen something like that happen? I don’t enjoy being a participant. and now the gulf is too wide and the “relationship” is too insignificant to bridge in any way. so I am just here, still thinking about it.
Staying quiet when I can and speaking to those who know/understand when I cannot.
I should not be as entertained by this as I am but Michael Cera has been my mumbly Canadian boyfriend in my head since ‘07, so.
Red line train to Glenmont.
"I still really, really love you…love is stronger than pride…"
1. It feels good to be “Auntie,” to hear people who can remember when you were a toddler say that your little niece is just like you were, or looks like you.
2. It is also nice to be in a house with pictures of your family on the walls, to walk in and already be a part of what happens here because look, there is a picture of your mother, your brother, your nieces.
3. This is a long way of saying I really missed my family.
4. Part and parcel don’t make a whole. I forget sometimes. (I am more than my inventions, this little disconnected life I live most of the time.)
5. “Old dirt road…knee deep snow…watching the fire as we grow…”
6. Still dreaming of a real vacation. Feet in sand and blue sky, etc etc.
7. One day soon. I hope.
8. “Old dirt road…rambling rose…watching the fire as we grow…well, I’m sold…”
9. Being back in school means less time for leisure reading. I miss it.
10. I like the idea of creating a life (I actually think it’s vital—a fully inherited life is not your own) but I’d like it to be …related, connected.
11. Of course Buddhism says there never a moment we’re not interconnected. I know it’s true, intellectually but it can be hard to feel. (Because I’m not very mindful.)
12. “Unpacking the bags and setting up…planting lilacs and buttercups…”